Qwest’s Nacchio Off to Luxury, Minimum-Security Prison

File under “We’ll believe it when we see it”: Joe Nacchio is going to prison on March 23.

Now that we think about it, though, we probably will see it, given the rather fabulous amenities of the minimum-security camp where the Qwest Communications International Inc. (Q) ex-CEO – convicted of illegal insider trading in 2007 – supposedly will live for the next six years (at his request).

And if this prison is all it’s cracked up to be, count us in(terested). The Denver Post reports that Nacchio requested the camp – ranked near the top of a list of luxury prisons by AskMen.com – because it boasts necessities including outdoor team sports, a game room and pool tables.

Still, the 59-year-old Nacchio has to share a cubicle with a roomie and work. Sigh. He’ll do duty in food services, landscaping and janitorial. The Denver Post shares additional details that just round out the scenario: Nacchio will have to wear a green prison outfit when meeting with visitors (for its organic blendability? For its soothing qualities?); his prison number is 33973-013.

And no – if you lost money because of Nacchio’s shenanigans, you probably can’t get even with a few prank phone calls.