Qwest’s Joe Nacchio Reports to Prison, Appeal Rejected

After about a month of will-he-or-won’t-he intrigue, the disgraced ex-CEO of Qwest Communications International Inc. has reported to prison in Pennsylvania.

Joe Nacchio entered the system on Tuesday after a federal judge denied a last-minute appeal for a new trial.

Nacchio faces the same fate as other inmates of the luxury, minimum-security Schuykill facility – according to the Wall Street Journal, Nacchio will work 7.5 hours per day and eat lots of margarine. That’s the only condiment served with meal-time bread. (Apparently “luxury prison” does not include butter, which we find to be most apropos. Perhaps Nacchio’s nickname will be “Oleo Nacchio”?)

The former head of Qwest – convicted in 2007 of $52 million worth of illegal insider trading – is slated to spend six years at Schuykill. We shall see. Nacchio and his lawyer are about as slippery as a tub of margarine.